- I always feel like every one is watching me
-if I find something I like it never looks good on me
- if something I look good in and I like it always costs a bomb
- if I try something on and I come out to show someone ( ie a friend) there is always a really skinny person out there looking at me
- if I try something on there is always someone I know and don't like pulling mocking faces at me
- there's alway mirrors everywhere in the cubical and when I'm changing I always see the parts of me I wouldn't want anyone to see .expesialy me
Why is it always a big deal :/
Stupid clothes >.>
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Saturday, 4 June 2011
My story so far ( far off finished polished and stuff)
The sun was setting over the ocean and a pair of familiar dainty arms wraped around my waist daraging me down to the floor.
" hey you" wissperd Alice while smothering my neack and cheek in a familiar pattern of kisses
" hey " I wisperd back
My name is Isabella swan ( but I prefer being called bella) and my life is what I like to call unusual .I used to be a plain Jane until alice walked into my life she turned my world sideways ,back to front and made it do the cha cha slide .
It all stared September 4th 2009 I was running late for school that morning so I never heard the gossip of the new kids in town until I had biology first lesson .his name was Edward cullen and everyone was drooling all over him( quite latterly in mikes case) that was one of the 2 reasons I noticed him the second was he was sitting on my table MY table! Everyone knows in this school how I hate sitting next to people . But what could I do? There was no other seat in the whole class so I sulked and slumped in my seat and had planed on making him feel like sitting there was the worlds worst disision when he looked at me and smiled, it was no normal smile it was a smile like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.and it did NOTHING for me .if anything it creeped me out.he turned on his bench and smiled and said in a quite a huskey voice ( mike must have loved his voice by the look of his pants)
" hello my name is Edward Cullen and you are?" he asked leaning in way to close for comfort
" bella" I answerd short and maybe not so sweet .
He had a look on his face that said" did u just do that?" and most pobably wasn't used to not having people not care what comes out of his oddly shaped mouth .
" well bella it's a umm a um aa plesure to meet you"
It sounded more of a question than a statement I just nodded sticking with my original idea of acwardness and put my hair over my shoulder like a vail of privacy .I hate new kids there ether extreamly happy or extreamly shy and I cant wait for them not to be the shiney new toy .i know im nothing special ( if anything im boring pale skin,brown hair clutzy ) but i just can not stand it when people think there instantly better than you .
throu out the lesson i could see Edward trying to fraze something but losing confidence or changing his mind last second by the time it was bothering me the bell went and i pradicly ran outte room (i didnt because i would mos likely fall) and there at my shoulder was him. my stalker.my annoying yet always there for me best mate . i cant hate him but when he dose some idiotic stuff you gotta think " why do i hang around with you?"but all in all Jacob is my best mate, brther in many ways .and somehow new that i was annoyed
"coome on hells bells who said what ? you know i am all ready to annoy them to death?" he laughed at his own stupid joke but some how it worked i smiled
" i had to share my table"i mumbled
"oh know dum dum dum duuuuuum" said jacob in mock horror .so i had no problem with back handing his arm
." ouch bella! Well who invaded your table?" he steped a away out my hitting range
" Edward flippin' Cullen "
" oh no ! You got what everyone in this school wants. His attention and you are angry? Hey if I wasn't with Leah I would be hitting him" he winked an over the top wink . Yeah Jacobs bi but I'm the only one that knows . Leah went out with this lad Sam before Jacob well let's say he swapped teams and broke leahs heart , so Jacob hasn't tould Leah he's bi because she would most likely have an anxiety attack . And Sam? Well let's say him and leahs brother are closer than ever .
" he's nothing special if anything he's creepy!" I replied in a well duh tone.Jacob wering a mask of horror grabbed out his phone and started texting ( his addiction)
" who you texting now " it annoys me when he douse this in a middle of a confosaition why can't it wait till after??
" everyone in school" he mumbled , his tung sticking out of his mouth in conserntraition . I was about to ask why but then the bell went of for second lesson and we both went are own ways . I had drama next , my safe haven , my sanctuary in many ways. My dream? To proform for millions and have enough money to be comfterble . And as I walked in just about to say hello to mr donavon , I saw my worst nightmare . A girl in high heel scratching my floor ( yes mine I raised all the cash for this floor to be re-done) and one of the rules was .NO HIGH HEELS!! and who is she? She must be new because I know everyone in my drama class ( we take on reservation kids because there is hardly enough people to do a small production). She wore skin tight jeans that hugged her bum in a nice way( what am I saying??) she also had on like a blowsy tunic that went in at the wrists and just under her boobs and flowed out and finished at the top of her Jean pockets , she wore a choker ( black) that had the most unusual pendant , is it a crest? And her hair was short and black that had spikes everywhere she looked amazing .from her ( high heeled ) shoes to her beautiful spiked hair . When she turned around the air from my chest just disappeared , her skin was perfect , not a single flaw, her eyes were Like shunning emeralds, her nose was small and buttoned and her lips were smiling , so plumped and red it was hard to stop staring when I noticed she was stearing at me. At me!! Why on earth would she stare at me? Did I have food down me ? Or toothpaste on my face again?. Then the girl did something I didn't expect . She looked away and blushed and started walking towards me . Her walk was graceful and elegant like a gazelle or a ballerina . I couldn't help but smile . When she reached me she waved and said in the most magical voice( like wind chimes or an harp)
" hey I'm Alice . I'm soo sorry" she looked down and I hated not seeing her eyes.why did it bother me?
" why are you sorry?" I was very confused and hated seeing this girl sad, again why did this bother me?
" I erm wore heels and I just heard about how you raised the money for the floor" it seamed so silly for me to blush but I did it's like I can't help but react like that ? Just as I was about to welcome her properly mr donavon walled in and said get Into pairs and Alice looked at me and put her head to the side as if asking do I want her partner I smiled as if saying yes . Wow this girl is just amazing it's as if we have are own language only the two of us know . The exersize is one I have done thousand times before . Mr donavon shouts out an emotion and we have to act it out .he chose me and Alice first and we got up and she looked nervous as if she hated attention then she looked at me and smiled her whole posture relaxed ( I wonder why?) the first few were easy , happiness - Alice was jumping up and down and I smiled it wasn't intentional it just happened( then I noticed Alice had swapped her high heels for a pair of converse ) she winked at me when she saw me looking , next was sad - I stood still and looked at the door with a single tear rolling down my face crossing my arms over my chest I couldn't see what alice was doing the next was anger and we both started shouting and getting closer to each other until you could hold up a magazine in-between us .that's when I noticed she's about 4'9 . Mr donavon had to shout to get us to notice him because we were so wrapped up in are argument .
" right girls I'm gona ask you to do a difficult emotion now if you don't feel comfortable say so okay?" we looked at each other in confusion and nodded
" ok girls I want you to portray love"
We looked at each other and we both blushed and she looked down I walked over to her and lifted her chin up so I could see her eyes , I wanted to make sure she was comfortable doing this and mr donavon started clapping we hadn't started yet ! Had we? We looked at each other in the eye and she did a small embaressed smile and took my hand and dragged me to the seat while the other pairs had a go Alice wisperd in my ear
" what's up with you ? Your names bella right?"
Just when she said my name I felt my skin felt like it went up in flames I did everything in my power not to look down and check . What was up with me?
" yeah I'm bella you have a mobile? "
What possessed me to ask I will never know but all I know is I need to work out this stranger . She giggled a high pitch giggle , nodded and handed me a business card ( huh?) it had a mobile and house number , Facebook name , msn account , email and address ( god this girl is prepared much!?) just as I was about to answer mr Donavon cleared his throat and stared at us , infect everyone was staring . How long had we been in are bubble ?
" aa Bella and Alice I'm glad you two have arrived on earth again but back to the class ok? Right this weeks assignment is musical theater in the pairs I put u in I want you to have a song, dance and a small script prepared from the musical I give u ok?" he looked around the room to see if everyone was listening . Of corse we were we love his assignments! And this week I was in my element musical theater .and everyone knew it so everyone kept looking at me I just looked forward and waited
" right Quil and loran you two will preform a section from fiddler on the roof , Jessica and Seth with prefom a section from cabaret , sunny and Luke you two will preform a section from calamity Jane , Claire and Bethan will do a section from wicked and finally Bella and Alice you two will do a section from Chicago .I want your work in Friday lesson 5 ok go 5 minuets early "
Alice looked ecstatic ! Wow I must thank mr donavon for giving me a good excuse for getting to know Alice . Alice looked at me and said in a happy tone
" oh my god Bella Chicago is my favorite musical of all time!! Can I be Roxie?!?" I could not believe this girl She is perfect !
" same here!! It's one of my dreams to be Velma ! Were gonna rock this!!" I said in an equally happy voice .as we both collected are stuff I noticed her staring at me and when I turned she blushed and mumbled something about text her and she walked away then I realised I had just missed break and half of the next lesson . How can one girl have this affect on me ?
Next lesson I had business , my teacher is one of those relaxed ones that makes jokes and is reddy to help you but try and walk all over him well than you are in some deep shit just as I was about to sit down in my seat I noticed another intruder on my table .ANOTHER ONE!! what is it with people today and my table .
This one was a big one he had muscles on top of muscles ! Short curly hair and a smile that reminds me of my own smile ( huge ,friendly and cheesy)
And just as I was going to scowl a make him uncomfortable he pulled out my chair and gave me a wink .I stopped breathing and looked down and sat down in my seat .he chuckled quietly and whispered
" they said I was going to face a punishment worse than death by sitting here " he chuckled softly once again
" especially after what u did to my brother in biology ."
Again he chuckled and I blushed even more, his eyes they had a child like joy mixed with the emotional depth of a man who has been broken and built back up again .and I couldn't stop looking into them .oh god I have gone and done it .I went and fell in love with a complete stranger !
" my name is emmet and by the amount of texts I got of Alice saying she just got her first assignment with you .I'm guessing you met her and you met Edward he hasn't stopped talking about you ether ,you seem to have that effect on my family " he smiled and leaned closer and smiled .I couldn't help but melt and smile back
"Ahh Bella so nice of you to join us I want you to stay behind after lesson " said mr jones( the business teacher) in a haha I got you now voice .
" yes sir" I replied miserably and looked at emmet through the corner of my eye and yes he was looking at me .wow there's something about this family they just keep staring at me
So that's it so far:)
" hey you" wissperd Alice while smothering my neack and cheek in a familiar pattern of kisses
" hey " I wisperd back
My name is Isabella swan ( but I prefer being called bella) and my life is what I like to call unusual .I used to be a plain Jane until alice walked into my life she turned my world sideways ,back to front and made it do the cha cha slide .
It all stared September 4th 2009 I was running late for school that morning so I never heard the gossip of the new kids in town until I had biology first lesson .his name was Edward cullen and everyone was drooling all over him( quite latterly in mikes case) that was one of the 2 reasons I noticed him the second was he was sitting on my table MY table! Everyone knows in this school how I hate sitting next to people . But what could I do? There was no other seat in the whole class so I sulked and slumped in my seat and had planed on making him feel like sitting there was the worlds worst disision when he looked at me and smiled, it was no normal smile it was a smile like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.and it did NOTHING for me .if anything it creeped me out.he turned on his bench and smiled and said in a quite a huskey voice ( mike must have loved his voice by the look of his pants)
" hello my name is Edward Cullen and you are?" he asked leaning in way to close for comfort
" bella" I answerd short and maybe not so sweet .
He had a look on his face that said" did u just do that?" and most pobably wasn't used to not having people not care what comes out of his oddly shaped mouth .
" well bella it's a umm a um aa plesure to meet you"
It sounded more of a question than a statement I just nodded sticking with my original idea of acwardness and put my hair over my shoulder like a vail of privacy .I hate new kids there ether extreamly happy or extreamly shy and I cant wait for them not to be the shiney new toy .i know im nothing special ( if anything im boring pale skin,brown hair clutzy ) but i just can not stand it when people think there instantly better than you .
throu out the lesson i could see Edward trying to fraze something but losing confidence or changing his mind last second by the time it was bothering me the bell went and i pradicly ran outte room (i didnt because i would mos likely fall) and there at my shoulder was him. my stalker.my annoying yet always there for me best mate . i cant hate him but when he dose some idiotic stuff you gotta think " why do i hang around with you?"but all in all Jacob is my best mate, brther in many ways .and somehow new that i was annoyed
"coome on hells bells who said what ? you know i am all ready to annoy them to death?" he laughed at his own stupid joke but some how it worked i smiled
" i had to share my table"i mumbled
"oh know dum dum dum duuuuuum" said jacob in mock horror .so i had no problem with back handing his arm
." ouch bella! Well who invaded your table?" he steped a away out my hitting range
" Edward flippin' Cullen "
" oh no ! You got what everyone in this school wants. His attention and you are angry? Hey if I wasn't with Leah I would be hitting him" he winked an over the top wink . Yeah Jacobs bi but I'm the only one that knows . Leah went out with this lad Sam before Jacob well let's say he swapped teams and broke leahs heart , so Jacob hasn't tould Leah he's bi because she would most likely have an anxiety attack . And Sam? Well let's say him and leahs brother are closer than ever .
" he's nothing special if anything he's creepy!" I replied in a well duh tone.Jacob wering a mask of horror grabbed out his phone and started texting ( his addiction)
" who you texting now " it annoys me when he douse this in a middle of a confosaition why can't it wait till after??
" everyone in school" he mumbled , his tung sticking out of his mouth in conserntraition . I was about to ask why but then the bell went of for second lesson and we both went are own ways . I had drama next , my safe haven , my sanctuary in many ways. My dream? To proform for millions and have enough money to be comfterble . And as I walked in just about to say hello to mr donavon , I saw my worst nightmare . A girl in high heel scratching my floor ( yes mine I raised all the cash for this floor to be re-done) and one of the rules was .NO HIGH HEELS!! and who is she? She must be new because I know everyone in my drama class ( we take on reservation kids because there is hardly enough people to do a small production). She wore skin tight jeans that hugged her bum in a nice way( what am I saying??) she also had on like a blowsy tunic that went in at the wrists and just under her boobs and flowed out and finished at the top of her Jean pockets , she wore a choker ( black) that had the most unusual pendant , is it a crest? And her hair was short and black that had spikes everywhere she looked amazing .from her ( high heeled ) shoes to her beautiful spiked hair . When she turned around the air from my chest just disappeared , her skin was perfect , not a single flaw, her eyes were Like shunning emeralds, her nose was small and buttoned and her lips were smiling , so plumped and red it was hard to stop staring when I noticed she was stearing at me. At me!! Why on earth would she stare at me? Did I have food down me ? Or toothpaste on my face again?. Then the girl did something I didn't expect . She looked away and blushed and started walking towards me . Her walk was graceful and elegant like a gazelle or a ballerina . I couldn't help but smile . When she reached me she waved and said in the most magical voice( like wind chimes or an harp)
" hey I'm Alice . I'm soo sorry" she looked down and I hated not seeing her eyes.why did it bother me?
" why are you sorry?" I was very confused and hated seeing this girl sad, again why did this bother me?
" I erm wore heels and I just heard about how you raised the money for the floor" it seamed so silly for me to blush but I did it's like I can't help but react like that ? Just as I was about to welcome her properly mr donavon walled in and said get Into pairs and Alice looked at me and put her head to the side as if asking do I want her partner I smiled as if saying yes . Wow this girl is just amazing it's as if we have are own language only the two of us know . The exersize is one I have done thousand times before . Mr donavon shouts out an emotion and we have to act it out .he chose me and Alice first and we got up and she looked nervous as if she hated attention then she looked at me and smiled her whole posture relaxed ( I wonder why?) the first few were easy , happiness - Alice was jumping up and down and I smiled it wasn't intentional it just happened( then I noticed Alice had swapped her high heels for a pair of converse ) she winked at me when she saw me looking , next was sad - I stood still and looked at the door with a single tear rolling down my face crossing my arms over my chest I couldn't see what alice was doing the next was anger and we both started shouting and getting closer to each other until you could hold up a magazine in-between us .that's when I noticed she's about 4'9 . Mr donavon had to shout to get us to notice him because we were so wrapped up in are argument .
" right girls I'm gona ask you to do a difficult emotion now if you don't feel comfortable say so okay?" we looked at each other in confusion and nodded
" ok girls I want you to portray love"
We looked at each other and we both blushed and she looked down I walked over to her and lifted her chin up so I could see her eyes , I wanted to make sure she was comfortable doing this and mr donavon started clapping we hadn't started yet ! Had we? We looked at each other in the eye and she did a small embaressed smile and took my hand and dragged me to the seat while the other pairs had a go Alice wisperd in my ear
" what's up with you ? Your names bella right?"
Just when she said my name I felt my skin felt like it went up in flames I did everything in my power not to look down and check . What was up with me?
" yeah I'm bella you have a mobile? "
What possessed me to ask I will never know but all I know is I need to work out this stranger . She giggled a high pitch giggle , nodded and handed me a business card ( huh?) it had a mobile and house number , Facebook name , msn account , email and address ( god this girl is prepared much!?) just as I was about to answer mr Donavon cleared his throat and stared at us , infect everyone was staring . How long had we been in are bubble ?
" aa Bella and Alice I'm glad you two have arrived on earth again but back to the class ok? Right this weeks assignment is musical theater in the pairs I put u in I want you to have a song, dance and a small script prepared from the musical I give u ok?" he looked around the room to see if everyone was listening . Of corse we were we love his assignments! And this week I was in my element musical theater .and everyone knew it so everyone kept looking at me I just looked forward and waited
" right Quil and loran you two will preform a section from fiddler on the roof , Jessica and Seth with prefom a section from cabaret , sunny and Luke you two will preform a section from calamity Jane , Claire and Bethan will do a section from wicked and finally Bella and Alice you two will do a section from Chicago .I want your work in Friday lesson 5 ok go 5 minuets early "
Alice looked ecstatic ! Wow I must thank mr donavon for giving me a good excuse for getting to know Alice . Alice looked at me and said in a happy tone
" oh my god Bella Chicago is my favorite musical of all time!! Can I be Roxie?!?" I could not believe this girl She is perfect !
" same here!! It's one of my dreams to be Velma ! Were gonna rock this!!" I said in an equally happy voice .as we both collected are stuff I noticed her staring at me and when I turned she blushed and mumbled something about text her and she walked away then I realised I had just missed break and half of the next lesson . How can one girl have this affect on me ?
Next lesson I had business , my teacher is one of those relaxed ones that makes jokes and is reddy to help you but try and walk all over him well than you are in some deep shit just as I was about to sit down in my seat I noticed another intruder on my table .ANOTHER ONE!! what is it with people today and my table .
This one was a big one he had muscles on top of muscles ! Short curly hair and a smile that reminds me of my own smile ( huge ,friendly and cheesy)
And just as I was going to scowl a make him uncomfortable he pulled out my chair and gave me a wink .I stopped breathing and looked down and sat down in my seat .he chuckled quietly and whispered
" they said I was going to face a punishment worse than death by sitting here " he chuckled softly once again
" especially after what u did to my brother in biology ."
Again he chuckled and I blushed even more, his eyes they had a child like joy mixed with the emotional depth of a man who has been broken and built back up again .and I couldn't stop looking into them .oh god I have gone and done it .I went and fell in love with a complete stranger !
" my name is emmet and by the amount of texts I got of Alice saying she just got her first assignment with you .I'm guessing you met her and you met Edward he hasn't stopped talking about you ether ,you seem to have that effect on my family " he smiled and leaned closer and smiled .I couldn't help but melt and smile back
"Ahh Bella so nice of you to join us I want you to stay behind after lesson " said mr jones( the business teacher) in a haha I got you now voice .
" yes sir" I replied miserably and looked at emmet through the corner of my eye and yes he was looking at me .wow there's something about this family they just keep staring at me
So that's it so far:)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)